Bicycle Diaries

August 12^th, 2010

SIX DAYS BEFORE LEAVING:

I figured I’d better start writing again to get back in the habit before I leave, since I want to log every day on the trip.

The last couple of weeks have been relatively stressful; being right in the middle of Cabaret – this is the last weekend – trying to plan this trip and prepare for it, both physically and in terms of equipment; working at the Lutheran church camp and finding out today that I have bronchitis – so it turns out the haggard, phlegmy cough I have had for three weeks is not just going to go away by itself. I’m freaking out about money because all the stuff I need for this is really expensive and I still need to pay for food and camping, and I’m starting to wonder if I will even physically be able to do the ride. All signs point to the craziness of the whole endeavor, but I guess I am going to do it anyway, bronchitis and all.

Part of me is absolutely terrified and part of me is like, “dude, chill, it will be okay.” Such is life. Talking to Adriane today at Cabaret after the show reaffirmed the feelings I have towards life right now. I’m very confused, I’m pretty scared most of the time and I have no idea where I’m going or what I’m doing, but apparently I’m okay with it. Maybe working at the Lutheran church is getting to me – God has a plan and everything will be cool if I try to do the right thing. If I hadn’t been raised a strict Atheist I probably would have made a good pastor. I mean, I get it. It’s all the same shit. Just people trying to deal with being scared.

So I am doing this thing. At least attempting it. I might end up being pretty miserable for most of the trip, but I said I would do it. I’m really excited. If I actually pull it off it will be awesome. My mom is really excited. Lolly is excited to see me in LA. I would be letting a lot of people down – especially myself – if I didn’t do it. This is not going to end up being one of those crazy ideas I have that I never follow through on. This is going to work.

UPDATE (next morning): The more research I do, the better I feel. The book I got – Bicycling the Pacific Coast, is phenomenal, and YouTube videos about packing for long tours put me at ease J